{"id":1005,"date":"2026-07-20T13:40:05","date_gmt":"2026-07-20T13:40:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1005"},"modified":"2026-07-20T13:40:05","modified_gmt":"2026-07-20T13:40:05","slug":"i-give-my-kid-the-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1005","title":{"rendered":"I Give My Kid the Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"
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ME:<\/em> Come sit down, honey.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Is something wrong, Dad?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> No, nothing\u2019s wrong, sweetheart. Nothing at all. We just need to have a chat.<\/p>\n

Read more David Rothenberg Arrives at the Punch Line<\/a><\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Is it about the broken vase? Because I cleaned it all up!<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> You did clean it up. You did a great job cleaning that vase up. It\u2019s something else. You\u2019re getting older, and there are some things you don\u2019t know about. And I want you to hear it from me, your father, instead of some kids at school.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

MY KID<\/em> (fidgety<\/em>): O.K.?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> We need to talk about Stephen Sondheim.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> St-st-st-stephen who?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Stephen Sondheim. He was a composer and a lyricist. He wrote the best musicals of the twentieth century.<\/p>\n

MY KID<\/em> (anxiety building<\/em>): Uh, Dad, I don\u2019t know if I should hear this.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> You have to! The shows are great!<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> O-O-K., Dad.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> You\u2019ve probably heard of some of the more popular ones, like \u201cSweeney Todd\u201d and \u201cInto the Woods\u201d? Maybe from some of the older kids at school?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> I did hear an eighth-grade boy say something about \u201cSweeney Todd.\u201d<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> What did he say, honey?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> I can\u2019t remember. Just something about the score using dissonant chords?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> That\u2019s right, kiddo. That\u2019s very good. What else did he say? It\u2019s O.K. Don\u2019t be scared.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> He said something about the lyrics being adjusted for Len Cariou, who was the original Sweeney.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> That\u2019s true, too. What else?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> I don\u2019t know, Dad, it was confusing. Something about the story being told exclusively through song?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> No! That\u2019s not true! This is what I was worried about. This is why I\u2019m glad we\u2019re having this talk. That older boy is wrong\u2014he\u2019s just trying to scare you. \u201cSweeney Todd\u201d is not exclusively music. There is actually a libretto by Hugh Wheeler.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> H-h-hugh who?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Hugh Wheeler. A frequent Sondheim collaborator. They met through Hal Prince.<\/p>\n

MY KID<\/em> (momentarily charmed<\/em>): They met through a prince?!<\/p>\n

ME<\/em>: Not a real prince, sweetheart! Just a man named Prince. Now, this older boy\u2014did he mention anything else? Anything that made you feel weird? Did he bring up any of Sondheim\u2019s lesser works?<\/p>\n

Read more Eric Bogosian\u2019s Killer Gig<\/a><\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Sondheim had lesser works? I\u2019m scared, Dad!<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Don\u2019t be scared, honey! They weren\u2019t lesser in the qualitative sense. Just lesser known. Did he say anything about \u201cPacific Overtures\u201d? Or \u201cAnyone Can Whistle\u201d? Or \u201cFrogs\u201d? Did this older boy mention \u201cFrogs\u201d?<\/p>\n

MY KID<\/em> (really nervous now<\/em>): When\u2019s Mom coming home?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Mom is out all night.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> But, Dad, I\u2019m tired!<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Then drink a cup of coffee! You must know about Sondheim!<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> O.K., O.K.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Good. I\u2019m sorry I got so upset. It\u2019s just, he\u2019s written so many important songs! (Composing myself; a beat<\/em>) I love you. You know that, right?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Yeah, I know.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Good. You might be tempted to go online and watch videos.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> W-what kinds of videos?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Videos of \u201cCats,\u201d \u201cLes Mis,\u201d \u201cRent.\u201d<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> What\u2019s wrong with those?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> They\u2019re not\u2014real<\/em>, honey. They make musicals look fun, but they\u2019re not real life. Not like Sondheim\u2019s \u201cCompany\u201d or \u201cAssassins\u201d or his newly reconsidered \u201cMerrily We Roll Along.\u201d Those shows are real. They\u2019ll stand the test of time. They\u2019ll be revived at City Center and still feel relevant to a modern audience.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> That\u2019s a lot to remember!<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Don\u2019t worry. You\u2019re not navigating this alone. Now I need to know\u2014have any of the older kids invited you to see \u201cMJ the Musical\u201d or \u201cMamma Mia!\u201d or even \u201cMoulin Rouge\u201d?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> No, I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Good. Those are jukebox musicals. And they killed Sondheim!<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> S-s-sondheim was killed?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Yes, he was.<\/p>\n

MY KID<\/em> (starting to cry now<\/em>): But, Dad! Why?! Why did they kill him?!<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Because they were taking shortcuts and pandering. Like parasites, those jukebox musicals wormed their way into Broadway and slowly killed the medium.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Daddy, I\u2019m scared! Are the jukeboxes going to kill you and Mama? Or me?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> No, sweetheart. As long as they keep reviving Sondheim\u2019s work and occasionally gender-swapping Bobby, we\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Are you sure?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> I\u2019m sure, honey. Everything\u2019s going to be O.K. (My kid sniffles and calms down. A nice pause<\/em>.)<\/p>\n

Read more Il Paradiso Italiano di Julian Schnabel<\/a><\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> Dad?<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> Yes, hon?<\/p>\n

MY KID:<\/em> I thought you were going to finally tell me about sex.<\/p>\n

ME:<\/em> No, kiddo. As a Sondheim fan, you\u2019ll never have to know about that.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shouts & Murmurs by Jesse Eisenberg: Don\u2019t believe what the other kids have to say; Dad is the one to tell you about the importance of Stephen Sondheim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1004,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nI Give My Kid the Talk - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1005\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Give My Kid the Talk - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Shouts & Murmurs by Jesse Eisenberg: Don\u2019t believe what the other kids have to say; Dad is the one to tell you about the importance of Stephen Sondheim.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1005\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-20T13:40:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"I Give My Kid the Talk\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-20T13:40:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005\"},\"wordCount\":838,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/4ab19da5668f0f49378df50c33835f2b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1005\",\"name\":\"I Give My Kid the Talk - 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