{"id":1053,"date":"2026-07-23T14:07:21","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T14:07:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1053"},"modified":"2026-07-23T14:07:21","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T14:07:21","slug":"ill-pay-twenty-thousand-dollars-to-skip-your-jazz-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1053","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ll Pay Twenty Thousand Dollars to Skip Your Jazz Show"},"content":{"rendered":"
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RE: Live Jazz w\/ Johann & the Avant-Guard @ Vodou Bill\u2019s<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey, Johann,<\/p>\n

Headlining\u2019s a big step, and I\u2019m proud of you. You\u2019ve planned to go solo for ages\u2014since quitting your first band. It\u2019s a shame that moody egoists also ran the next three. But now you\u2019re in front, and you\u2019re finally free\u2014unlike Brooklyn rent. To stay in jazz\u2019s capital, you\u2019ll need an investor or a dead parent. And your mom jogs.<\/p>\n

Read more Jane Wickline Is Down to Clown in \u201cDukes\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

So what I\u2019m saying is, I\u2019ll pay you twenty thousand dollars to let me stay home.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Though I appreciate the invite! As the only Black person you know, I admire your dedication to my great-grandfather\u2019s culture. I\u2019m personally more about our work in the ensuing hundred years, but I respect keeping the flame alive. Supporting your solo d\u00e9but is an honor, from afar.<\/p>\n

How\u2019s cash sound?<\/p>\n

I assume cash is easiest\u2014what with taxes and such. If online\u2019s better, I\u2019ll gladly fund microtonal improv through Venmo, Zelle, Solana, or any new digital middleman I\u2019ve missed. This is your<\/em> moment, and you should feel loved. Because you are. Your craft is worth my annual bonus and more. Let\u2019s make it your<\/em> bonus.<\/p>\n

You deserve it, just like you deserve to buy four WaveRunners. That\u2019s enough for you and the whole band! It could be your promo-photo gimmick, instead of staring into the distance. You take a lot<\/em> of photos gaping at the horizon. I see the creative intent, but it\u2019s a bit empty, basic, and flat. And you\u2019re not flat.<\/p>\n

Please take the money. I haven\u2019t had eight hours to myself in weeks.<\/p>\n

Full disclosure: I\u2019m a big concert guy. It\u2019s practically my hobby. But I\u2019m after a specific experience. One that evokes words like \u201cyippie!\u201d rather than \u201cno escape\u201d or \u201cthere are six people here, I can\u2019t leave without ending up on a blog.\u201d I hope that tracks.<\/p>\n

Besides, NecroBeast\u2019s in town. I love NecroBeast. Sure, they\u2019re playing two nights later, but I want to go in fresh. Really dive into the pit, you know? Sleepwalking through Monk covers drains me. It\u2019s like having a Pip-Boy that I can\u2019t turn off.<\/p>\n

This might seem strange, since I\u2019ve seen you play before. But there\u2019s been one big change: I\u2019ve seen you play before. At the Casa Gentry show, the experience was intense. Specifically, the experience of biting my cheek to stay awake. At first, avant-garde jazz seems sterile and divorced from human experience. Then you taste blood. Now I respect the raw sensation your work inspires, and wish to avoid more of it.<\/p>\n

Read more \u201cLost Chapters\u201d Weaves Literary Mysteries Into Family Bonds<\/a><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t sweat the number. Friendship means more than money. I\u2019d rather fund your entire summer tour than lose our bond. Or spend two hours nodding to songs named after Du Bois misquotes. Jazz is a long, unbroken chain of ideas, connecting Flatbush grad students to their teachers next door.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re still the best artist I know, untamed by relevance or solvency. While others chase the cheap highs of audience connection, you prove that innovation\u2019s alive and well. You\u2019ll conduct any experiment, no matter how often it\u2019s been done. Your music is consistently, proudly, and unrelentingly for you. Think of this as a twenty-thousand-dollar award for all of that.<\/p>\n

And you\u2019re playing Vodou Bill\u2019s! Even I know Vodou Bill\u2019s. For half a century, V.B.\u2019s gave Black music\u2019s most daring acts a stage. Then it became an avant-garde jazz club, teaching us all a valuable lesson: gentrification isn\u2019t just physical. Now you\u2019re a part of that history. Only you\u2019ll get paid, unlike the old groundbreaking acts at Vodou Bill\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Of course, a friendly face in the crowd means everything. Consider taking this money and using it to pay other friends to attend. Or strangers, to become friends. Twenty grand can get twenty people killed. Or ten people to attend bass-and-flute improv over desert wind. This is your night, and I\u2019m so excited not to see it.<\/p>\n

I love you like a brother. I\u2019d skip my brother\u2019s avant-garde jazz concert, too. But you didn\u2019t get here by listening to haters. You fought. Keep fighting. Prove everyone who never sent cold, hard cash wrong.<\/p>\n

Read more Inside an Immigration Arrest That Sparked a Neighborhood Protest<\/a><\/p>\n

And check Zelle. I left a tip.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dennard Dayle writes a satirical e-mail in which he offers his friend an enormous sum of money to avoid going to his avant-garde jazz show.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1052,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nI\u2019ll Pay Twenty Thousand Dollars to Skip Your Jazz Show - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1053\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I\u2019ll Pay Twenty Thousand Dollars to Skip Your Jazz Show - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dennard Dayle writes a satirical e-mail in which he offers his friend an enormous sum of money to avoid going to his avant-garde jazz show.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1053\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-23T14:07:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"I\u2019ll Pay Twenty Thousand Dollars to Skip Your Jazz Show\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-23T14:07:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053\"},\"wordCount\":788,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/9dfc330a8de3dd5a3b3d1550b277f896.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1053\",\"name\":\"I\u2019ll Pay Twenty Thousand Dollars to Skip Your Jazz Show - 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