{"id":1207,"date":"2026-08-03T14:39:03","date_gmt":"2026-08-03T14:39:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1207"},"modified":"2026-08-03T14:39:03","modified_gmt":"2026-08-03T14:39:03","slug":"freelance-headlines-stupid-onion-editor-rejected","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1207","title":{"rendered":"Freelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

College Grad Escapes
Vicious Learning Cycle<\/p>\n

Date Lectures Man
On Racist History
Of \u201cGoing Dutch\u201d<\/p>\n

Man Laughs Just
Right Amount at
Job Interview<\/p>\n

Boyfriend Saving
First \u201cI Love You\u201d
For Emergency<\/p>\n

Woman Insists
On Proposal Do-Over
Just Because He Forgot
Ring, Her Name<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Groom Sees Omen
In Bride\u2019s Grammy
Leaving Teeth
In His Beer<\/p>\n

Honeymoon Ruined
By Too Much
\u201cLovey-Dovey\u201d Stuff<\/p>\n

Man\u2019s Socks,
Underwear,
Favorite Shirt
Lost in Dryer<\/p>\n

Married Man Still
Able to Drink at
Collegiate Level<\/p>\n

New Father Who
Witnessed Miracle of Birth Not Tapping
That Again<\/p>\n

Man Loses Job
Over Handful of
Benign Remarks<\/p>\n

Santa Expands List to
Include Naughty,
Nice, and
Too Nice<\/p>\n

Sloppy Eater Dog\u2019s
New Best Friend<\/p>\n

Trad Wives Give
Better Blow Jobs,
Experts Say<\/p>\n

Second Baby
Redder Than First,
Dad Observes
From Chair<\/p>\n

Sister-in-Law
Keeps Harping On
Toilet Incident<\/p>\n

Man Cave Established
In Car in Driveway<\/p>\n

Husband Furious Wife
Won\u2019t Let Him Swap Out
Free-Sex-Pass Celebrity
Who Got Old<\/p>\n

Honey-Do Jar
Bursts Into Flames<\/p>\n

Man Did Not Drink
Too Often Much<\/p>\n

Tooth Fairy
Just Forgot,
O.K.?<\/p>\n

Son Saying \u201cDad\u201d
With Less Conviction
These Days<\/p>\n

Dad Abdicates Marriage,
Mom Vows Changes
Around Here<\/p>\n

Divorced Man\u2019s
Trusty Pick-Up Bar
Now a Chicken Place<\/p>\n

Late-Night Cheese Snack
Not Cheese, E.R. Doctors
Determine<\/p>\n

All Man\u2019s Old
College Girlfriends
Are Lesbians
Now<\/p>\n

Ex-Wife Dating
Probable Mobster,
Pedophile<\/p>\n

Daughter Doesn\u2019t
Wait Until Marriage
To Change Surname<\/p>\n

Divorced Man
Shocked to Discover
Cunnilingus Mandatory<\/p>\n

All of a Sudden
Man Fired Because
Boss\u2019s Kid
Also a Retard<\/p>\n

Man\u2019s Life
Not Worth Living,
Goes On Anyway<\/p>\n

Onion<\/em> Rejects
Funny Man\u2019s
10,000th Headline<\/p>\n

Ex-Wife Finds
Man\u2019s Death
Hilarious\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Read more Eric Wareheim, Plant Dad<\/a><\/p>\n

Read more Robb Moss Is Still Going with the Flow<\/a><\/p>\n

Read more Extra! Extra! Read All About It\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. Again<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Married Man Still Able to Drink at Collegiate Level; Sloppy Eater Dog\u2019s New Best Friend; and more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1206,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nFreelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1207\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Freelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Married Man Still Able to Drink at Collegiate Level; Sloppy Eater Dog\u2019s New Best Friend; and more.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1207\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-03T14:39:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Freelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-03T14:39:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207\"},\"wordCount\":253,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e6e6a5b258c41bb40215ecaa3b3e6e5f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=1207\",\"name\":\"Freelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected - 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