{"id":1271,"date":"2026-08-09T16:38:17","date_gmt":"2026-08-09T16:38:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1271"},"modified":"2026-08-09T16:38:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-09T16:38:17","slug":"a-few-of-my-greatest-fears-in-no-particular-order","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1271","title":{"rendered":"A Few of My Greatest Fears, in No Particular Order"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Getting stabbed in the face\u2014specifically, the eye.<\/p>\n

Desperately needing to get to a bathroom on one of those days when the subway just stops indefinitely for no apparent reason.<\/p>\n

Read more We Are Pivoting to Radical Empathy<\/a><\/p>\n

Footage of the all-white production of \u201cOnce on This Island\u201d that my high school put on making it online.<\/p>\n

Getting my wedding ring caught on something and having it almost rip my hand off, as happened to Jimmy Fallon. (Very gross. Do not investigate further.)<\/p>\n

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What if all my friendships are actually the setup to some kind of elaborate joke at my expense which will eventually pay off in some sort of elaborate prank on a future birthday? Like, maybe no one will show up to my party, and a man with sad eyes will deliver a cake that reads \u201cIt\u2019s over, bro.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anyone who respects me finding out that I thought paisley was a color until I was, like, twenty-seven.<\/p>\n

My dog learning to talk, but only for the purpose of telling visitors all the gross stuff I do when I\u2019m home alone.<\/p>\n

Read more How Caro Claire Burke Wrote the Biggest Book of the Year<\/a><\/p>\n

Something bad happening to my wife or parents while I am travelling for work.<\/p>\n

God does exist, but it\u2019s Zeus. Like, what the hell?<\/p>\n

Dying in a way that\u2019s so embarrassing that my descendants have to change their last name to avoid being associated with it.<\/p>\n

Becoming a ghost whose unfinished business is some kind of simple mechanical task that I am ill-equipped for, so I have to spend eternity in my old apartment trying to put together a lamp or install an air-conditioner, or some other odd job that my dad could complete in five minutes.<\/p>\n

Turning into one of those old guys who\u2019s, like, \u201cI don\u2019t get why things are different than when I was a kid! Everything should stay the same, starting at the point when I became comfortable with it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Living forever but hating all the new music.<\/p>\n

America continuing its horrifying trend of race- and gender-based income inequality, leading to even more wealth and opportunity being concentrated in the hands of an even smaller group, leaving everyone else unprepared for the consequences of climate change, automation, and other accelerating global challenges.<\/p>\n

Read more A Short Song for a Long and Precious Season<\/a><\/p>\n

Being kicked by a horse.<\/p>\n

*From \u201cNice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The comedian and TV writer\/producer Josh Gondelman writes a list of his greatest fears in this excerpt from his new book, \u201cNice Try: Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1270,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nA Few of My Greatest Fears, in No Particular Order - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=1271\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Few of My Greatest Fears, in No Particular Order - 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