{"id":178,"date":"2026-05-23T13:37:56","date_gmt":"2026-05-23T13:37:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=178"},"modified":"2026-05-23T13:37:56","modified_gmt":"2026-05-23T13:37:56","slug":"the-hidden-costs-of-weddings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=178","title":{"rendered":"The Hidden Costs of Weddings"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You\u2019re engaged? Congratulations! I\u2019m so<\/em> happy for you.<\/p>\n

Really.<\/p>\n

Although\u2014and don\u2019t take this the wrong way\u2014I\u2019ve heard that weddings are kind of expensive? Lots of hidden costs?<\/p>\n

Read more A Few Quick Thoughts from Bridezilla!<\/a><\/p>\n

Like, to hire that converted barn for the ceremony\u2014you know, the one upstate that hasn\u2019t housed an animal in a hundred years? That\u2019ll set you back ten grand just for the afternoon. But to also book the nearby Muppets-themed miniature-golf course for the same afternoon so that you can, in good conscience, tell your partner that it\u2019s unavailable? Another three thousand.<\/p>\n

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And it ain\u2019t easy being green\u2014it\u2019s also not cheap. Paperless invites are a start, but to throw a truly sustainable wedding you\u2019ll need to plant a handful of trees to offset travel emissions for each out-of-town guest. A small grove if anyone flies in from overseas. Pretty soon, you\u2019ll be looking at an additional eight thousand on saplings and labor, just to insure that the weekend is completely carbon-neutral.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a lot.<\/p>\n

Although it pales in comparison to what it will cost to make the event politically neutral. Contribution limits help, but still, donating to every campaigning politician is gonna burn a hole in your wallet as well as your morals.<\/p>\n

And how much will it cost to make the bathrooms gender-neutral? Actually, that won\u2019t cost a thing. Unless you find yourself seated within earshot of Uncle Len\u2014then it\u2019ll cost you your whole evening.<\/p>\n

Of course, you could invite Uncle Len to d.j. the reception, in which case he\u2019ll be too distracted by the task at hand to take issue with your \u201cperformative bathroom wokeness.\u201d And you\u2019ll also save on hiring an actual d.j.\u2014a not-insignificant sum\u2014although you will have to weigh this against the considerable risks associated with passing Uncle Len the aux cord.<\/p>\n

Read more What Gets Kept<\/a><\/p>\n

Focus on the positives! Such as, how cool are champagne towers? Very cool! And the best bit? They work just as well with Mountain Dew as they do with Dom P\u00e9rignon\u2014or should I say they photograph<\/em> just as well. That\u2019s kind of the same thing. All up, twenty bucks for a centerpiece that will dominate your guests\u2019 Instagram stories is quite compelling.<\/p>\n

Far more compelling than your m.c., a friend of a friend, whose name is Kane, and whose only qualification is his unchecked extroversion. Yes, you\u2019ll save a couple hundred by not hiring a professional, but your cut-price host is about to alienate (in this order) your religious extended family, your partner\u2019s mom, all women everywhere, all pet owners everywhere, all women again, the young, the old, the middle-aged, the yet-to-be-born, the deceased, Nascar fans (weirdly), your religious extended family again, and himself.<\/p>\n

You might invite your Gen Z cousins in an attempt to get the party hopping. But rather than turn up with pockets full of the newest party drugs, as you\u2019d hoped, they\u2019ll arrive sober\u2014vaping at best\u2014and full of questions about more than just your decorating choices. Why even get married? When did you become such a normie? Why do you feel compelled to perpetuate these dusty, heteronormative institutions? You really wanna go all in on monogamy?<\/p>\n

You tell yourself that it will all be worth it for the registry. You drink. You dance. At some point, you pass out.<\/p>\n

You wake up the following day, broke, hungover, and with a faint memory of having danced an Irish jig while Uncle Len blared \u201cCome On Eileen\u201d at full volume, for the third time. And yet you are hopeful. You check the registry\u2014a single Italian appliance or French cast-iron pan would provide adequate consolation. But you quickly see that, although you will never want for coat hangers again, the Smeg fridge and the Le Creuset Dutch oven have gone untouched.<\/p>\n

Read more How Raghu Rai Captured an India in Transition<\/a><\/p>\n

Still engaged? Commiserations.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Simon Webster jokes about the incredibly expensive costs associated with having a wedding ceremony.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":177,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Hidden Costs of Weddings - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=178\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Hidden Costs of Weddings - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Simon Webster jokes about the incredibly expensive costs associated with having a wedding ceremony.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=178\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-23T13:37:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"The Hidden Costs of Weddings\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-23T13:37:56+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178\"},\"wordCount\":681,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0fd1a6400679644edf554f28b65ec7eb.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=178\",\"name\":\"The Hidden Costs of Weddings - 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