{"id":283,"date":"2026-05-30T14:37:41","date_gmt":"2026-05-30T14:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=283"},"modified":"2026-05-30T14:37:41","modified_gmt":"2026-05-30T14:37:41","slug":"rightsizing-our-workforce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=283","title":{"rendered":"Rightsizing Our Workforce"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In light of the financial challenges our company has faced of late, I\u2019d like to make you aware of some exciting staffing adjustments. In the coming days, many of you will be chosen to take part in our new CIRP<\/em> initiative, or Cubicle Inhabitant Reduction Program. Those of you who are selected will be called upon to assist with immediate efforts to rightsize our workforce.<\/p>\n

Read more Married Role-Play<\/a><\/p>\n

Rightsizing simply refers to our commitment to optimizing our head count after discovering that we are, in fact, wrong-sized. I want to reassure you that this is very different from downsizing, which is something we haven\u2019t done since before the word “rightsizing” was invented. We\u2019re merely recalibrating our personnel in a way that\u2019s beneficial to our long-term goals, through an approach by which we stop paying lots of you.<\/p>\n

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The reality is that there are times when every company must lighten its\u00a0human load. This is upsetting, I know\u2014arguably even more upsetting than the phrase \u201chuman load.\u201d I want you to know that I couldn\u2019t be more proud of our human load and the contributions you have made as a load. I only wish you hadn\u2019t grown too heavy for us to carry.<\/p>\n

Companies, including ours, must ride the waves of the economy. At times, those waves are strong and we find ourselves balancing atop their mighty crests, recklessly printing single-sided documents and suckling from the bountiful teat of one complimentary water-cooler jug after the next. Other times, those waves are weak\u2014toner cartridges run low, toilet paper is hoarded, personal yogurts are no longer safe in shared refrigerators, and there isn\u2019t a single dry-erase marker in sight. (As a side note: Where the hell are all the goddam dry-erase markers?)<\/p>\n

Read more I Work from Home<\/a><\/p>\n

We find ourselves at a crossroads. One path leads us further from our core values and into a position of greater vulnerability. The other path, the one we choose to follow today, leads us to a place where we can rebuild and prosper once again. For the record, both paths require tons of layoffs.<\/p>\n

To that end, someone from our out-placement team will be in touch shortly to insure that your transition is as smooth as humanly possible. Trust that this person\u00a0will work tirelessly to maintain an expression of empathy during his or her\u00a0interaction with you.\u00a0After which, we hope you can view your situation as an opportunity to do all the things you couldn\u2019t do when you had a job, like going to matinees and job fairs and unemployment offices and museums.<\/p>\n

This is a difficult time for all of us, but brighter days lie\u00a0ahead. With your help in no longer being here, I have great confidence that our human load will rise once again to reclaim our position as an industry leader for months, perhaps even years, to come.<\/p>\n

Read more Bad News<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re recalibrating our personnel in a way that\u2019s beneficial to our long-term goals, through an approach by which we stop paying lots of you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":282,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nRightsizing Our Workforce - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=283\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rightsizing Our Workforce - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019re recalibrating our personnel in a way that\u2019s beneficial to our long-term goals, through an approach by which we stop paying lots of you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=283\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-30T14:37:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Rightsizing Our Workforce\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-30T14:37:41+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283\"},\"wordCount\":496,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/bc45df332bdac218140631543b088e0f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=283\",\"name\":\"Rightsizing Our Workforce - 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