{"id":285,"date":"2026-05-30T15:07:28","date_gmt":"2026-05-30T15:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=285"},"modified":"2026-05-30T15:07:28","modified_gmt":"2026-05-30T15:07:28","slug":"playground-purgatory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=285","title":{"rendered":"Playground Purgatory"},"content":{"rendered":"
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ANNA<\/em>: Is that your little guy over there?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Yeah, that\u2019s Sebastian.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

ANNA<\/em>: What a cutie. That\u2019s my Tessa on the slide.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: She\u2019s adorable.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I feel like I\u2019ve definitely seen you here before. I\u2019m Anna.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: You look familiar, too. I\u2019m Sara.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Mind if I sit?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Please.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: We\u2019re here a lot, Tessa and I.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Yeah, this is like a second home for Sebastian and me.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: This place is such a lifesaver.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Total lifesaver.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: We\u2019re here every day. Sometimes twice.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Tell me about it, we were here for ten hours yesterday.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I really treasure the time that Tessa and I spend here.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Wouldn\u2019t trade it for the world.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u2019m always so happy when I\u2019m here, and never feel strange or despondent.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Me, too. So happy. The sound of all the kids laughing and screaming is so joyous, and doesn\u2019t sound anything like nails on a chalkboard.<\/p>\n

Read more Rightsizing Our Workforce<\/a><\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u2019ve never cried behind that tree.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Me neither.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Tessa! Tess! Come on over here and put on your coat, O.K., sweetheart? It\u2019s chilly out, and you need to put on your coat, O.K.? Your coat needs to go on your body. The fabric needs to cover your torso to help you maintain a proper internal temperature, or you\u2019ll die, O.K., pumpkin? You\u2019ll die of hypothermia, right here at the playground, unless you put your coat on. Your body\u2019s going to start shutting down soon. It\u2019ll feel like you\u2019re getting sleepy for nap time, but you\u2019ll actually be getting sleepy for dying. Get your God-damned coat on\u200a!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Is that your little guy over there?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Yeah, that\u2019s Sebastian.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: What a cutie. That\u2019s my Tessa on the slide.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: She\u2019s adorable.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Wait. I\u2019m sorry\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. did I already ask you that?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Did you? I don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u2019m so embarrassed.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Did I answer you again?<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I feel funny sometimes.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: It\u2019s this place. It\u2019s evil.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u2019m scared.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: There are dark forces here. Powerful forces.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: And yet it\u2019s the only place that makes sense to me anymore. Here and my bathroom.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Sometimes, when I\u2019m in the sandbox, I can feel myself sinking, like something is pulling me down. I can feel the sand slowly surrounding me, suffocating me, and it feels good.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: We should totally do a playdate sometime!<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Oh my God, it would be so great to do a playdate!<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Maybe I\u2019ll buy us a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Nothing wrong with the moms playing a little at a playdate, right?<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Nothing wrong at all.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Hey, I don\u2019t know if you\u2019re into it, but I bet I could dig up a little pot in the back of a drawer somewhere, it\u2019s probably really old, but might be fun. Boy, listen to me, I sound like a total druggie! Ha.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Ooh, no, that would be fun.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: O.K., great.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Just throwing it out there, I could probably score a line or two of coke if you wanted. We totally<\/em> don\u2019t have to.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Well, I like what you\u2019re throwing! I\u2019m definitely down for a bump or two. O.K., I\u2019m just going to ask, do you have any interest at all in shooting a tiny bit of heroin? Oh my God, I\u2019m such a bad influence! Ha!<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Wow, I don\u2019t know, let me think about that one. Thought about it. Hells yes!<\/p>\n

Read more Married Role-Play<\/a><\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Is that applesauce on your shirt?<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: This? No, this is throw-up. Tessa regurgitated on me. But, applesauce or throw-up, what\u2019s the difference, really? They\u2019re both just things that get on your shirt that you lose the will to wipe off after a certain point, because either way you\u2019re going to give yourself a haircut with a kitchen knife, right?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: So true.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: There\u2019s also string cheese in my hair, not sure if you saw that.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Last night, I found a cheddar Goldfish in my vagina.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Wow.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Yeah.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: In it?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Right in it.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Tessa! Honey! Share the slide, Honey Bear! We don\u2019t own the slide, O.K.? We have to share, because if we don\u2019t society will collapse and we\u2019ll become no better than animals, tearing one another limb from limb just to survive. This playground and everything around it will deteriorate into a dystopian war zone, a lawless heap of smoldering ash. And guess what dystopian war zones don\u2019t have? Slides. Share the God-damned slide\u200a!<\/em><\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Hey, look who just walked in.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Where?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Over there, by Nanny Alley.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Oh boy.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Stay-at-home Hottie McBj\u00f6rn.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Daddy\u2019s home.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Daddy\u2019s home, all right.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Bad day for me to not shower.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Bad day for me to be twice my college weight.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Oh my God, have you seen his wife?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: No! You?<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: She made an appearance here. Once. Working mom.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: So sad.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I know.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: And?<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Meh.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: He deserves more than that.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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ANNA<\/em>: So much more.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: He\u2019s hurting.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: You\u2019d never know it. He\u2019s so brave. And able. I saw him tie a water balloon with one hand before.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: I saw him make a diaper out of leaves.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Well, well, well, look over there by the monkey bars.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: If it isn\u2019t Hot Skinny Bitch Mom.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: She\u2019s got some nerve. Ms. My Baby Weight Just Vanished Because I\u2019m a Terrible Person.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Ms. I Carry a Yoga Mat on My Back Because You Never Know When I Might Just Start Fucking Doing Yoga.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Ms. My Hair Is Washed.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Ms. I Went to Law School but Decided to Work Part Time at an Inner-City Nonprofit for At-Risk Youth So I Can Give Back to the Community Because I\u2019m So-o-o-o-o-o-o Skinny!<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: What?<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Sorry, I don\u2019t know what that was.<\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I love her outfit.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: It\u2019s so cute I want to tear her little arms off.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Tessa? Tess, honey! It\u2019s time for lunch, O.K.? Let\u2019s take a break and have something to eat now, because Mommy\u2019s hungry, too, and Mommy can\u2019t eat her lunch until you\u2019ve eaten yours, because, as you know, Mommy\u2019s lunch is just the remnants of your lunch\u2014your toast crusts, your milk backwash, and, with any luck, a frantic lick of your half-eaten yogurt container. O.K., Sugarplum? Come eat your God-damned lunch\u200a!<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more I Work from Home<\/a><\/p>\n

(Pause<\/em>)<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Such a beautiful day here today.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: It\u2019s perfect.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: Not a cloud in the sky.<\/p>\n

SARA<\/em>: Never is.<\/p>\n

ANNA<\/em>: I\u2019m Anna, by the way.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shouts & Murmurs by Colin Nissan: \u201cSometimes, when I\u2019m in the sandbox, I can feel myself sinking, like something is pulling me down.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":284,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nPlayground Purgatory - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=285\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Playground Purgatory - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Shouts & Murmurs by Colin Nissan: \u201cSometimes, when I\u2019m in the sandbox, I can feel myself sinking, like something is pulling me down.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=285\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-30T15:07:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Playground Purgatory\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-30T15:07:28+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285\"},\"wordCount\":1204,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/7ef987cbe7e160abdf6b117157cf56da.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=285\",\"name\":\"Playground Purgatory - 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