{"id":501,"date":"2026-06-13T13:08:43","date_gmt":"2026-06-13T13:08:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=501"},"modified":"2026-06-13T13:08:43","modified_gmt":"2026-06-13T13:08:43","slug":"my-n-b-a-knowledge-comes-in-handy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=501","title":{"rendered":"My N.B.A. Knowledge Comes In Handy"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Me<\/strong>: Sir, I would like to ask for your daughter\u2019s hand in marriage.<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: Absolutely not, Jesse. You don\u2019t have stable employment, you don\u2019t own a car or a house, you\u2019ve never showed an interest in having a family, and my daughter says you\u2019re emotionally unavailable.<\/p>\n

Read more Respectful Ways to Heckle Athletes<\/a><\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: You\u2019re right, I really have nothing. This must be how the Detroit Pistons\u2019 general manager Joe Dumars felt after he drafted the disappointing Darko Mili\u010di\u0107 over the superstar Carmelo Anthony in the 2003 N.B.A. draft. I\u2019m sorry I wasted your time\u2014<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: Wait a second. You know the tertiary details of the Darko Mili\u010di\u0107 saga?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Yes, I do. Instead of tending to your daughter\u2019s emotional needs, I\u2019ve spent years reading about the inner workings of the National Basketball Association.<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: This makes me reconsider your candidacy as a son-in-law.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: It does?<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: Of course! Knowing about that obscure blip in N.B.A. history is exactly what I\u2019ve been looking for in a son-in-law. Not only can you marry my daughter\u2014you can also inherit my company.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: My goodness, thank you, sir! What does your company do?<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: That doesn\u2019t matter. As long as you keep reading about basketball, you\u2019ll do a great job as C.E.O. And you\u2019ll have access to our company box at the Garden, where the New York Knicks play.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: And have<\/em> played since February of 1968. Thank you, sir!<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: Please, call me Pop.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: \u201cPop\u201d? As in the nickname of the Spurs\u2019 coach, Gregg (Pop) Popovich?<\/p>\n

My Girlfriend\u2019s Father<\/strong>: No. As in father<\/em>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

<\/inline-embed><\/p>\n

Police Officer<\/strong>: Do you know why I pulled you over?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Yes, officer. I was speeding.<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: I clocked you going ninety-one miles an hour. The speed limit is sixty-five. That\u2019s a difference of twenty-six miles an hour.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: It\u2019s also Kyle Korver\u2019s jersey number.<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: And I ran your license plate and saw that you have unpaid speeding tickets in\u2014wait a second. Did you say that twenty-six is the number that Kyle Korver\u2014rotation player and shooting specialist for the Cleveland Cavaliers\u2014wears?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Yes. I\u2019ve memorized the numbers of every player in the N.B.A.<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: Are you a savant?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Far from it. I just read about basketball all the time. In fact, it\u2019s the only thing I read nowadays.<\/p>\n

Read more Smart Things I Have Done While You Were Watching Sportsball<\/a><\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: You stopped reading books?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Yeah, I don\u2019t feel competitive when I read about basketball players. But, when I read a great book, a big part of me is feeling jealous of it.<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: Even when you read something you\u2019d never write? Like Tolstoy?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Yes, I even feel threatened by Tolstoy.<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re plagued by this self-doubt and borderline hubris. And I\u2019m even more sorry that I pulled you over. Memorizing all those players\u2019 numbers to distract yourself from your own creative hangups is really smart.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: You think so?<\/p>\n

P.O.<\/strong>: Absolutely. In fact, I\u2019m so impressed that I will make sure the district attorney understands your passion for basketball trivia and expunges your other traffic violations.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

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N.B.A. Commissioner Adam Silver<\/strong>: Jesse, I\u2019d like to offer you a job as a superstar player in the N.B.A.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: I\u2019m not very good at basketball.<\/p>\n

Silver<\/strong>: That doesn\u2019t matter. Think about it: When you\u2019re in the throes of a fast break, barrelling down the court, facing a cabal of seven-foot-tall opponents, what\u2019s the most important skill?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Quick reflexes?<\/p>\n

Silver<\/strong>: No. An ability to name the assistant coaching staff of the Oklahoma City Thunder.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Vin Bhavnani, Mo Cheeks, Darko Rajakovi\u0107, Royal Ivey, Mark Bryant, and Adrian Griffin?<\/p>\n

Silver<\/strong>: Exactly. How do you think Michael Jordan won all of those titles?<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: He was physically gifted?<\/p>\n

Silver<\/strong>: Nope. He just studied. He and Scottie Pippen quizzed each other using flash cards.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: That\u2019s what I use, too!<\/p>\n

Silver<\/strong>: Well, it shows. So, even though you practice only a few times a year, at the Chinatown Y.M.C.A., and you\u2019re a hundred and thirty-five pounds, you\u2019ll be an N.B.A. superstar.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n

Read more When the Knicks Are Good<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cInstead of tending to your daughter\u2019s emotional needs, I\u2019ve spent years reading about the inner workings of the National Basketball Association.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":500,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nMy N.B.A. Knowledge Comes In Handy - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=501\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My N.B.A. Knowledge Comes In Handy - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cInstead of tending to your daughter\u2019s emotional needs, I\u2019ve spent years reading about the inner workings of the National Basketball Association.\u201d\u00a0\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=501\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-13T13:08:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"My N.B.A. Knowledge Comes In Handy\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-13T13:08:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501\"},\"wordCount\":769,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/2fd969fe6a659b65da69c495f56674fe.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=501\",\"name\":\"My N.B.A. Knowledge Comes In Handy - 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