{"id":720,"date":"2026-06-27T19:09:36","date_gmt":"2026-06-27T19:09:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=720"},"modified":"2026-06-27T19:09:36","modified_gmt":"2026-06-27T19:09:36","slug":"i-am-a-man-and-i-run-hot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=720","title":{"rendered":"I Am a Man, and I Run Hot"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Whatever the thermostat says, whatever the magical properties of your duvet, however naked I am at the dinner table, let me make one thing clear: I am a man. And, as a man, I run hot.<\/p>\n

Read more How We\u2019re Beating the Heat<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes we\u2019ll be at a restaurant, and you\u2019ll notice me growing irritable. That is because the vinyl-covered chair that I\u2019m sitting on is trapping heat\u2014heat that is desperately trying to escape my body. At times like this, my body is like the sun.<\/p>\n

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Sometimes we\u2019ll be on a leisurely stroll, and you\u2019ll notice me attacking my outer layers as though they were a swarm of killer bees. Heat-wise, this is barely a metaphor.<\/p>\n

Sometimes you and I will get together for a picnic in the park. \u201cIt\u2019s such a nice day,\u201d you\u2019ll say. \u201cIt\u2019s so great to be outside,\u201d you\u2019ll say. \u201cOh, my God, Phil, are you all right?\u201d you\u2019ll say. Because it will appear as though I have partially melted.<\/p>\n

And the sweat. The dress-shirt-staining, bluejean-dye-leaking, baseball-hat-salt-encrusting sweat. Regular people, the dry folk, claim<\/em> to sweat. But they don\u2019t know. They know a gentle rainfall. I have seen the ocean floor. Their armpits look like armpits. Mine look like evil inkblot tests.<\/p>\n

If you ask a scientist, they\u2019ll probably explain that my manly biome is firing on all cylinders because it needs to be prepared for battle. But you don\u2019t need science. You just need me telling you that I\u2019m hot. That it\u2019s<\/em> hot. And that the temperature in this Panera has got to come down.<\/p>\n

Read more Family Values<\/a><\/p>\n

Some people think that the winter is different. That the cold months are my<\/em> time. \u201cMust be nice to feel a chill in the air, eh?\u201d Fools. They don\u2019t understand the tyranny of space heaters, of radiators, of central-heating vents blasting waves of pure hotness at my firesome body.<\/p>\n

And, when there\u2019s winter, there\u2019s winter vacation<\/em>. Not too long ago, my girlfriend and I went to Martinique. Martinique<\/em>\u2014do you understand? As soon as we got there, she made off for the beach\u2014or, as I like to call it, \u201chell\u201d\u2014while my battery-powered misting fan and I lay reclining in our hotel room, just counting down the minutes until we could leave that breeze-forsaken country.<\/p>\n

A lot of people dream of going to places like Martinique. Or Italy. Or the Seychelles. Me, I want to sit in a cave somewhere. Not a man cave, mind you, where heat from adjacent men is a constant threat, but an actual cavern. Cool, dark, faintly damp. I want to sit there, in a loose-fitting T-shirt, with a bucket of vanilla ice cream, just trying to reclaim a little dignity.<\/p>\n

But no. I live in the real world. The hot world. Forever on the hunt for the next cross-breeze. The next ice pack. The next moisture-wicking fabric or remote-controlled A.C. Until then, I\u2019ll keep running. Running hot.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n

Read more How ACT UP Changed America<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eli Burnstein humorously jokes about the experience of a man who suffers constantly from feeling too hot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":719,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nI Am a Man, and I Run Hot - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=720\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Am a Man, and I Run Hot - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Eli Burnstein humorously jokes about the experience of a man who suffers constantly from feeling too hot.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=720\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-27T19:09:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"I Am a Man, and I Run Hot\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-27T19:09:36+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720\"},\"wordCount\":525,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/c1b6d5a0b9a947bc95980feff4966ff2.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=720\",\"name\":\"I Am a Man, and I Run Hot - 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