{"id":772,"date":"2026-06-30T15:38:24","date_gmt":"2026-06-30T15:38:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=772"},"modified":"2026-06-30T15:38:24","modified_gmt":"2026-06-30T15:38:24","slug":"erling-haaland-plays-like-a-viking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=772","title":{"rendered":"Erling Haaland Plays Like a Viking"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Erling Haaland, Norway\u2019s large, maniacal striker, has several exceedingly Norwegian traits. He sometimes exercises by chopping wood in the forest. He consumes six thousand calories a day. (He\u2019s fond of beef heart.) After training sessions, he drinks raw milk. He owns a tax-sheltered investment company in Luxembourg named Pillage. He bought an edition of the \u201cHeimskringla,\u201d a thirteenth-century Old Norse saga, for a hundred and thirty thousand dollars\u2014then donated it to his local library because, he explained, \u201cI\u2019ve never been much of a reader.\u201d He has flowing blond hair, often compared to a Viking\u2019s. He brings the intensity of a raiding party to the sport. Haaland scores goals at a higher rate than almost any soccer player ever. (In a junior game, he scored nine goals against Honduras, and some Honduran players cried.) He has said, \u201cI think of football all the time.\u201d His wake-up alarm plays the theme song for the Champions League. He once posted a photo of himself on a plane, staring ahead intensely, with the caption \u201cJust raw dogged a 7 hour flight no phone no sleep no water no food only map.\u201d The Guardian<\/em> once called him a \u201cravenous Nordic goal-yeti.\u201d<\/p>\n

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International soccer sometimes produces a weird essentialism: the Germans succeed only with ruthless organization; the Brazilians are gifted and cursed with flamboyance; the English delude themselves into thinking they are still internationally relevant. Norway has never been particularly successful in World Cups\u2014this year\u2019s is only the fourth tournament the country has qualified for. (For an entire generation, Norway\u2019s best player, Tom Lund, never appeared for the national team in a match outside of Europe because he was afraid of flying.) The team is unburdened by identity, so Haaland has been free to create it. He plays soccer how Norwegians might dream that Norwegians play soccer.<\/p>\n

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Haaland\u2019s style of play elicits not wonder but terror. He is enormous: six feet five, two hundred pounds, about the size and speed of the N.F.L. wide receiver Randy Moss. Watching him, I sometimes find myself giggling as I might over a big, obscene crash at a demolition derby. The play that did this to me most recently came in Norway\u2019s first World Cup game, against Iraq. Haaland had already scored twice; Iraq\u2019s Marko Farji was moving the ball across his box, with Haaland twenty yards away, until he suddenly broke into a sprint of bizarre ferocity\u2014he has a quirk in his running form that causes his arms to thrash from side to side\u2014heading straight at Farji, who, though still far from Haaland, seemed to abandon all soccer instinct and took off with the ball in the opposite direction, toward the sideline, while Haaland, for some reason, just kept chasing, and caught up to Farji right before they both went out of bounds, but in his overexuberance, before he could dislodge the ball, he knocked Farji to the ground and earned a foul, which caused him to let out a long scream, whether in frustration or as some battle-cry catharsis, I\u2019m not sure. I\u2019d never seen anything like it. I wanted to see more.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Norway\u2019s second match, a night game against Senegal, was in New Jersey. Win, and Norway would advance to the knockout rounds. I\u2019d arranged to go with a Norwegian friend, Erlend M\u00f8rch, who has been following the team around the U.S. and hosting a podcast for the national broadcaster, N.R.K. M\u00f8rch is a comedian and writer. For his TV show \u201cHellerudsvingen,\u201d an animated series in the \u201cSouth Park\u201d mold, he wrote a two-episode arc featuring a version of Haaland, who more or less just grunts around like an animal. (Haaland eventually becomes the hero by sacrificing himself to save the protagonists.) Before the game, M\u00f8rch came by my apartment, in Brooklyn, to watch the afternoon matches. \u201cThis is the most important national event of our lifetime,\u201d he said solemnly.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d brought M\u00edmir Kristj\u00e1nsson, a frequent podcast guest and travelling companion for the trip, who showed up in a wrinkly T-shirt and old sweatshorts, as though he\u2019d just spent a couple of days in the woods. M\u00f8rch explained that Kristj\u00e1nsson is actually one of the most popular politicians in Norway. He\u2019s a member of the Storting, Norway\u2019s Parliament, representing the Reds, the Marxist Party, but has broad personal appeal even among conservatives. With some help, Kristj\u00e1nsson had elevated his party from the fringes to a crucial bloc in the governing coalition. \u201cHe\u2019s been the Mamdani,\u201d M\u00f8rch said. Kristj\u00e1nsson represents Haaland\u2019s district in Parliament, but, he told me, \u201cI think the chances Haaland voted Red are slim.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kristj\u00e1nsson drank a Coke and watched the games. \u201cIn Norway, we have this word folkelig<\/em>, which means an ordinary, average Joe,\u201d he said. It\u2019s an aspirational term, one that explains the appeal of both Kristj\u00e1nsson and Haaland. Kristj\u00e1nsson is from Stavanger, an oil city in the southwest. Haaland is from Bryne, a nearby farming town in the country\u2019s rural lowlands, near the North Sea. Bryne people are not big talkers. A Norwegian author from the region once described the locals as \u201ca heavy folk who dig their way through life with ponder and toil.\u201d The local soccer club had its original pitch on a split in a river. A hunter once mistook a flying ball for a duck and shot it. \u201cThey have this farming identity,\u201d Kristj\u00e1nsson said. \u201cWhen a player is the man of the match, they give him, like, eggs. They gave lamb to one player after scoring a hat trick. They have an area where you can sit in your tractor and watch the game for free.\u201d<\/p>\n

Norway is one of the world\u2019s wealthiest countries, with the world\u2019s largest sovereign-wealth fund, mainly thanks to its oil reserves. Per capita, it has among the highest concentrations of millionaires. Culturally, though, it favors Scandinavian egalitarianism. \u201cThere\u2019s this idea that you don\u2019t want to think too highly of yourself,\u201d M\u00f8rch said. \u201cEven rich and successful people are encouraged to keep it down. You don\u2019t want to brag.\u201d Haaland, who plays for Manchester City, is a soccer megastar. But he still hangs out in Bryne. He still goes to the local kebab shop, Yummy Time. He speaks with a distinctive rural accent. He seems happiest when his teammates score. \u201cIt all makes you seem like a modest, humble guy even though you\u2019re flying in a private jet and doing tax avoidance,\u201d Kristj\u00e1nsson said. I thought that Kristj\u00e1nsson, being a Red, might harbor some ambivalence toward Haaland. He doesn\u2019t. He loves him unreservedly.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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We watched Argentina take on Austria; Lionel Messi scored two goals. The men were delighted. Messi, who is thirty-nine, remains the sport\u2019s singular player. \u201cThey\u2019ve been talking about who\u2019s going to take the throne from Messi for ten years,\u201d Kristj\u00e1nsson said. \u201cThere\u2019s \u2018New Messi\u2019s who\u2019ve retired.\u201d But, eventually, his time would be over. Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi\u2019s great rival, who is forty-one and diminished, showed the danger of staying too long. \u201cHe reminds me more and more of Joe Biden,\u201d Kristj\u00e1nsson said. Of the new class of superstars\u2014Kylian Mbapp\u00e9 of France, Lamine Yamal of Spain\u2014Haaland, who is twenty-five, is unique. Messi is a short-king soccer genius who dominates the ball. Haaland is big and physical and goes long stretches without any touches. He usually scores in quick, lightning-strike attacks. His physicality obscures preternatural vision and instincts. \u201cI once saw him celebrate before he scored,\u201d M\u00f8rch said. \u201cIt was an easy tap-in, and he was, like, Oh, right, I have to do the goal first.\u201d<\/p>\n

Norway has leaned into Haaland\u2019s Viking thing. The team staged an official photograph at the mouth of a fjord, with three longships and the players dressed like Norse warriors; Haaland held a sword. The government sent the team off to America with three hundred kilograms of Atlantic salmon and whitefish and a hundred kilos of Norwegian cheese. Norwegian fans have done the \u201cViking Row\u201d\u2014in which everyone sits down, someone bangs a drum, and everyone shouts \u201cRo!\u201d and pretends to row, as if on a longship\u2014in Times Square and on an escalator in Boston, where the team played its first game. It seems like an old tradition, but it was invented a few months ago, partly as a nod to Leif Eriksson\u2019s reaching North America centuries before Columbus did.<\/p>\n

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Not everyone was happy with the Viking shtick. \u201cThere was a big debate,\u201d M\u00f8rch said. \u201cThe critics said it\u2019s cringe and right-wing coded, and associated with the Nazis.\u201d Kristj\u00e1nsson has met the complaints with eye rolls. \u201cWhen Charlie Kirk was killed, Kash Patel said, \u2018See you in Valhalla.\u2019 That<\/em> was weird because Kash Patel is Indian American, and Charlie Kirk was really, really Christian. No one is going to Valhalla there,\u201d he said. \u201cBut it just happens to be our actual history.\u201d<\/p>\n

At MetLife Stadium, we went to a Norwegian Fan Fest at the horse track. M\u00f8rch and Kristj\u00e1nsson were hounded. Kristj\u00e1nsson signed someone\u2019s soccer jersey. M\u00f8rch took constant selfies. I\u2019ve known M\u00f8rch for years, but he\u2019d never let on that he\u2019d become a celebrity\u2014folkelig<\/em>, I guess. It was raining, but spirits were high. Bud Lights were bountiful. One guy had ripped off the horn from a plastic Viking helmet and was using it to chug beers. Two others hopped into a giant muddy puddle and did the Viking row. Everyone chanted, \u201cRo!\u201d<\/p>\n

The game began amid a drizzle. In person, a proper soccer pitch is surprisingly vast. It\u2019s much bigger than a football field. The players look like tiny ships on a sea. Haaland almost appeared normal-sized. The Norwegians, in Viking style, went on the attack, but they weren\u2019t organized defensively. They looked nervous. Periodically, the drum sounded, and we broke into the row.<\/p>\n

At the hydration break, it was 0\u20130. Haaland had barely touched the ball\u2014ponder and toil. Mainly, he lurked. Haaland can call to mind a shark circling dark waters. M\u00f8rch said he thinks of the pulsing strings from \u201cJaws.\u201d In the forty-third minute, Marcus Holmgren Pedersen, an injury substitution from Hammerfest, a city above the Arctic Circle, scored a surprising goal: 1\u20130 Norway. Moments later, Haaland suddenly made one of his almost demented charges, at Senegal\u2019s goalkeeper. He won the ball and shot from a tight angle but hit the post.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Halftime was tense. A one-goal lead wasn\u2019t very safe. Haaland doesn\u2019t get many opportunities, and he\u2019d already missed a big chance. \u201cThere\u2019s so much waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping, hoping, hoping,\u201d M\u00f8rch said.<\/p>\n

In the forty-eighth minute, Martin \u00d8degaard, Norway\u2019s other star, sent a pass into the box. Haaland streaked after it: 2\u20130. Everyone screamed and flung beer into the air. M\u00f8rch and Kristj\u00e1nsson hugged. Senegal got a goal back, but Haaland scored again in a flash, kicking a feed out of the air, again, with just one touch. The Norwegians looked woozy with glee. The next hydration break hit. Fans have been critical of the hydration break\u2014a desecration that allows FIFA<\/em> to cram in extra advertisements\u2014but the men bellowed the words to \u201cDon\u2019t Stop Believin\u2019.\u201d They were in ecstasy. Kristj\u00e1nsson clapped and shouted, \u201cHydration break! Hydration break!\u201d<\/p>\n

This team has been called Norway\u2019s golden generation. The roster has benefitted from a new, socialized athletics program. But Haaland was something else. \u201cIn Norway, we may struggle every day, but we know we can rely on the oil funds,\u201d M\u00f8rch said. \u201cIn football, Haaland is our oil fund.\u201d<\/p>\n

The game ended 3\u20132. Norway had clinched a spot in the knockout rounds. Nobody could believe it. Haaland was asked about the next and final match of the group stage, against France, which no longer mattered much. \u201cThey\u2019re probably going to win,\u201d Haaland said. Everyone stuck around and sang Norway\u2019s soccer anthem, \u201cFarmers from the North.\u201d Haaland and his teammates sat on the wet pitch as \u00d8degaard banged the drum. They rowed along with tens of thousands of fans. I rowed too. It was electrifying. Kristj\u00e1nsson pointed out that the whole thing was kind of a sham. \u201cLeif Eriksson was Icelandic,\u201d he said. \u201cHis father, Erik the Red, was driven out of Norway after his father murdered someone\u2014and then driven out of Iceland when he murdered someone himself.\u201d But Kristj\u00e1nsson didn\u2019t care, and nobody else did either, so we kept rowing.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n

Read more An Ecuadorian Fishing Boat Disappears Amid Trump\u2019s Strikes in the Pacific<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zach Helfand writes about the Norwegian men\u2019s national soccer team at the 2026 World Cup and it\u2019s most ferocious player, Erling Haaland.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":771,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-world-cup-2026"],"yoast_head":"\nErling Haaland Plays Like a Viking - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=772\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Erling Haaland Plays Like a Viking - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Zach Helfand writes about the Norwegian men\u2019s national soccer team at the 2026 World Cup and it\u2019s most ferocious player, Erling Haaland.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=772\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-30T15:38:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"11 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Erling Haaland Plays Like a Viking\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-30T15:38:24+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772\"},\"wordCount\":2170,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/8ad21dcf7a27fde5035c2386890c0621.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"World Cup 2026\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=772\",\"name\":\"Erling Haaland Plays Like a Viking - 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