{"id":886,"date":"2026-07-11T12:35:30","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T12:35:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=886"},"modified":"2026-07-11T12:35:30","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T12:35:30","slug":"beach-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=886","title":{"rendered":"Beach Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DANGER! THIS IS ONE OF THE DEADLIEST BEACHES IN THE NORTHEAST! SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE INJURED OR KILLED HERE EVERY SUMMER! FOLLOW THESE RULES\u00a0AND BE SAFE:<\/p>\n

Read more The Great American State Flop<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022 SUPERVISE CHILDREN.<\/p>\n

\u2022 BEWARE OF SLEEPER WAVES AND RIP CURRENTS.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT PLAY \u201cTAG\u201d WITH THE WAVES.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u2022 DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON THE OCEAN.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT GIVE THE BEACH YOUR CREDIT-CARD INFORMATION OR PIN<\/em> NUMBER.<\/p>\n

\u2022 ALWAYS CARRY YOUR WALLET IN YOUR FRONT POCKET WHEN IN THE VICINITY OF THE BEACH.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT GIVE THE BEACH $1.75 FOR BUS FARE ACROSS TOWN TO SEE ITS MOTHER IN THE HOSPITAL. TELL THE BEACH SORRY, BUT YOU\u2019VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECKS FROM THE BEACH.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DEMAND PROPER IDENTIFICATION IF THE BEACH ASKS TO GAIN ACCESS TO YOUR HOME TO CHECK THE GAS METER.<\/p>\n

\u2022 IF YOUR CAR WAS KEYED IN THE PARKING LOT, YEP\u2014PROBABLY THE BEACH.<\/p>\n

\u2022 NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. THE BEACH\u2019S PERSONALITY REALLY CHANGES AFTER A COUPLE OF DRINKS.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT TELL THE BEACH ANY PERSONAL SECRETS. THE BEACH WILL JUST TELL DENISE THE FIRST CHANCE IT GETS.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT LEND THE BEACH MONEY TO START A FOOD TRUCK. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THE BEACH FOLLOWED THROUGH ON ANYTHING? NEVER, THAT\u2019S WHEN.<\/p>\n

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\u2022 DO NOT INTERRUPT THE BEACH WHEN IT IS TELLING A STORY, EVEN IF IT IS A STORY YOU<\/em> ORIGINALLY TOLD THE BEACH, AND IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO YOU<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u2022 MAYBE THE BEACH HAS A PERSONALITY DISORDER?<\/p>\n

\u2022 ALL WE\u2019RE SAYING IS, IF YOU LOOK ON WIKIPEDIA THE BEACH KIND OF CHECKS ALL THE BOXES FOR HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER. OR NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER. CREEPY.<\/p>\n

\u2022 REPORT THE BEACH FOR POSSESSION OF PHARMACEUTICALS THAT HAVE NOT BEEN PRESCRIBED TO THE BEACH. YOU\u2019RE NOT BEING A NARC; IT IS FOR THE BEACH\u2019S OWN GOOD.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT INTRODUCE YOUR BOYFRIEND TO THE BEACH. JUST ASK DENISE IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT\u2014WAIT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? SORRY, WE THOUGHT WE HEARD THE BEACH.<\/p>\n

\u2022 KEEP IN MIND THAT THE BEACH HAD A TOUGH UPBRINGING. TRY TO GIVE THE BEACH THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.<\/p>\n

\u2022 DO NOT FEEL GUILTY IF YOU CAN\u2019T REALLY BE AROUND THE BEACH UNTIL THE BEACH GETS ITS SHIT TOGETHER. YOU CAN\u2019T HELP A BEACH THAT DOESN\u2019T WANT HELP.<\/p>\n

Read more Can Office-to-Residential Conversions Survive the Pfizer-Building Crisis?<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022 NO LITTERING.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No alcoholic beverages. The beach\u2019s personality really changes after a couple of drinks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":885,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nBeach Rules - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=886\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Beach Rules - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No alcoholic beverages. 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