{"id":890,"date":"2026-07-11T13:35:37","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T13:35:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=890"},"modified":"2026-07-11T13:35:37","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T13:35:37","slug":"the-best-beach-reads-for-when-you-left-your-book-at-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=890","title":{"rendered":"The Best Beach Reads for When You Left Your Book at Home"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>\u201cCell Phone, Volume I,\u201d by Tech Giant<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s a tweet, anyway, if not a short story? And you downloaded the Kindle app back when you left your book at home before that eight-hour flight on which you ended up watching all four films in the \u201cKung Fu Panda\u201d franchise. Don\u2019t forget all the articles you\u2019ve been meaning to check out once you finish the Thursday crossword puzzle from six weeks ago. See? There\u2019s plenty of reading to be done on this marvel of modern technology in the moment you have before the sun\u2019s glare blinds you.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=888\">What\u2019s Your Ocean Style?<\/a><\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><strong>\u201cS.P.F. 100+,\u201d by R.X. Sunblock<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t need to be a sci-fi fan to find yourself deeply invested in the adventures of oxybenzone, octocrylene, and avobenzone, but you <em>do<\/em> need to be incredibly desperate. At least you won\u2019t be splotchy and peeling the next time someone at a fancy cocktail party asks you what you\u2019ve been reading in a tone that, in retrospect, was definitely condescending.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cSot Oaf Matisse Ate Berry Boy?,\u201d by Bad Skywriter<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A mystery so mind-melting that even Sherlock Holmes would have struggled to realize what was in front of you all along\u2014not only is the Fauvist artist innocent of any cannibal crimes, there is no Berry Boy! In fact, the message written in the sky is supposed to say (<em>SPOILER ALERT<\/em>) \u201c50% OFF MATTRESSES AT BEDDY BUY.\u201d Who could\u2019ve seen that one coming? Certainly not whoever\u2019s in charge of marketing over at what is soon to become another empty storefront in the local strip mall.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cCell Phone, Volume II,\u201d by Tech Giant<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The glare is still bad, but worse are the multiple e-mails you\u2019ve received from your boss even though you told him you were taking today off and, oh, great, now your eyeballs hurt worse than the sunburned arm you applied the prescription sunblock with but forgot to put any onto.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=886\">Beach Rules<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cThe Girl with the Dr. Phil Tattoo,\u201d by Unlicensed Parlor<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This horrific tale makes Mary Shelley look like Shel Silverstein, and makes Dr. Phil look like the guy on the Pringles can. The only mercy is its simplicity. Unless, of course, the author hid additional meaning in \u201cDocta Fill 4 EVA.\u201d Perhaps you can ask her about any deeper significance when she returns from \u201ctaking a whiz\u201d in the shallows.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cThe Seagull,\u201d by Anton Chekhov<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Considered one of the legendary Russian dramatist\u2019s greatest works, \u201cThe Seagull\u201d is a play that someone appears to have left on the beach. There it is, yours for the taking. One of the greatest plays ever written has made its way to you like some sort of message in a bottle sent by a benevolent force. Oh, the serendipity! Your boredom has been banished like \u201cThe Girl with the Dr. Phil Tattoo\u201d girl, after she flashed the lifeguard her Judge Judy ink.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cCell Phone, Volume III,\u201d by Tech Giant<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>According to Google Maps, if you leave now, you can get home in time for \u201cWheel of Fortune.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=884\">The Great American State Flop<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Alex Watt offers a humorous list of reading recommendations for the beach when you\u2019ve forgotten to bring along a book.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-890","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - 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