{"id":894,"date":"2026-07-11T14:34:29","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T14:34:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=894"},"modified":"2026-07-11T14:34:29","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T14:34:29","slug":"day-at-the-beach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=894","title":{"rendered":"Day at the Beach"},"content":{"rendered":"
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LIFEGUARDS NO. 1, 2, 3:<\/em> [In unison.<\/em>] Everybody smile!<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> No!<\/p>\n

JANET:<\/em> Why \u201cno\u201d?<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Because there are three cameras!<\/p>\n

JANET:<\/em> Exactly\u2014we get three times as many pictures.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

BUCK:<\/em> To choose from.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> All bad. Because in every picture<\/em> we\u2019ll all be looking in different directions.<\/p>\n

Read more New York Beaches to Visit Before You Die<\/a><\/p>\n

JANET:<\/em> And?<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> And what<\/em>? We get no pictures with all of us smiling into the same camera.<\/p>\n

MARILYN:<\/em> Gary has a point.<\/p>\n

JANET:<\/em> Does he?<\/p>\n

MARILYN:<\/em> Yes, I think so. In last year\u2019s pictures of us at the beach, we\u2019re all looking in different directions.<\/p>\n

BUCK:<\/em> I don\u2019t remember that.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Well, I do. And, look, we\u2019re taking up the time of three lifeguards.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> He\u2019s right. And there are only three of us.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 2:<\/em> For the whole beach.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 3:<\/em> So we should really make this quick.<\/p>\n

MARILYN:<\/em> What if we turn it around so that the water\u2019s behind us? That way, the lifeguards could watch the water while they\u2019re taking the pictures.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> O.K. But that doesn\u2019t solve the original problem, does it?<\/p>\n

MARILYN:<\/em> He\u2019s right.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Ya see, if there\u2019s only one lifeguard holding a camera, then the other two can look for folks getting in trouble in the water.<\/p>\n

Read more The Best Beach Reads for When You Left Your Book at Home<\/a><\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 3:<\/em> I like that. \u2019Cause really that\u2019s the job.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> Absolutely.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Good. Let\u2019s turn this thing around. Let\u2019s go clockwise, O.K.? So we\u2019re turning clockwise, and we end up with our backs to the water. Ready, on three. One, two, three\u2014everybody turn. No, Buck. Clockwise.<\/p>\n

BUCK:<\/em> This is<\/em> clockwise.<\/p>\n

MARILYN, GARY, JANET, AND LIFEGUARDS NO. 1 AND 3:<\/em> No, that\u2019s counterclockwise.<\/p>\n

BUCK:<\/em> Depends.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Depends?<\/p>\n

BUCK:<\/em> On if you\u2019re looking up at the sky or you\u2019re looking down at the sand.<\/p>\n

MARILYN:<\/em> Buck went to M.I.T.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> O.K. Let\u2019s move clockwise like we all went to Oberlin.<\/p>\n

[They all turn clockwise. The lifeguards are now facing the ocean.<\/em>]<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> Oh, boy! This does not work. Now we\u2019re shooting directly into the sun.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 2:<\/em> You\u2019re all in silhouette.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 3:<\/em> Yep. This was a big mistake.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> O.K.! Listen! Listen! We all circle back\u2014counterclockwise<\/em>, O.K.? And we have one of these nice lifeguards take the picture. One<\/em> of them! While the other two look for people struggling in the ocean so that, if necessary, they can save their friggin\u2019 lives! O.K.?<\/p>\n

Read more What\u2019s Your Ocean Style?<\/a><\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> That is the job.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> On three. One, two\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. three!!! Clockwise!<\/p>\n

[They all turn back to their original positions.<\/em>]<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> O.K., which one of us is going to take the picture?<\/p>\n

[There\u2019s a long pause.<\/em>]<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 2:<\/em> I\u2019m not good at taking pictures.<\/p>\n

GARY:<\/em> Then not you.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 3:<\/em> I don\u2019t know how to use this phone to take pictures.<\/p>\n

LIFEGUARD NO. 1:<\/em> That kinda leaves me, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

GLEN:<\/em> Great. Everybody look at him and smile.<\/p>\n

[The camera clicks.<\/em>]<\/p>\n

JANET:<\/em> [To Buck, sotto voce.<\/em>] Gary ruins every vacation.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Al Franken humorously imagines a scenario in which a group photo on a beach goes wrong.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":893,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nDay at the Beach - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=894\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Day at the Beach - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Al Franken humorously imagines a scenario in which a group photo on a beach goes wrong.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=894\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-11T14:34:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Day at the Beach\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-11T14:34:29+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894\"},\"wordCount\":545,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/70d5a709dcaa0f4e779fed05c1c7b0aa.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=894\",\"name\":\"Day at the Beach - 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