{"id":920,"date":"2026-07-13T13:07:51","date_gmt":"2026-07-13T13:07:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920"},"modified":"2026-07-13T13:07:51","modified_gmt":"2026-07-13T13:07:51","slug":"voting-rights-updated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920","title":{"rendered":"Voting Rights, Updated"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

Congress finally passed a comprehensive new Voting Rights Act prior to the midterms, which includes the following stipulations.<\/p>\n

Read more New York Is a Pickle Kind of Town<\/a><\/p>\n

Requirements for a legitimate voter I.D. in California:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. A great smile<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

2. A bittersweet memoir of a neglectful celebrity parent<\/p>\n

3. Poolside footage of your killer abs and\/or breast implants filmed by your neighbor\u2019s drone<\/p>\n

4. A vegan breakfast that includes a burrito stuffed with CBD gummies<\/p>\n

5. A text from the person who might still be your agent<\/p>\n

Poll-worker qualifications in Alabama:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. Proof of illiteracy<\/p>\n

2. An underage spouse who is also your grandparent<\/p>\n

3. At least three failed Breathalyzer tests<\/p>\n

4. A shotgun named after your Meemaw<\/p>\n

5. A nude photo of yourself and a farm animal signed by the animal<\/p>\n

Candidates for office in New York City must:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. Play weekend pickleball with the guy they call Zohran the Man<\/p>\n

2. Be able to wear a yarmulke, a crucifix, and a rainbow Pride wig simultaneously<\/p>\n

3. Own a Hamptons beach house that you claim is \u201cfor my kids\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Use the words \u201cunhoused,\u201d \u201cfood insecure,\u201d \u201csubstance-use disorder,\u201d and, when referring to a serial killer, \u201cperson with duct tape\u201d<\/p>\n

Seattle voters must possess:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. At least one item of clothing made from a repurposed garment once used to swaddle an injured osprey<\/p>\n

2. Ancestry documents proving that at least one per cent of your DNA is from somewhere that once had a famine<\/p>\n

3. A child wearing non-gendered clothing, a bowl haircut, and a nametag reading \u201cMe\u201d<\/p>\n

4. At least one emotional problem being treated with massage, birdsong, and keeping a journal recording pencil sketches of your bowel movements<\/p>\n

5. Righteous anger over income inequality and a spouse\u2019s inability to really listen<\/p>\n

Read more Meet the Minion-Maker<\/a><\/p>\n

Ballots in Florida must include:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. At least two candidates who were the subject of \u201cDateline\u201d episodes involving body parts found in bus-station lockers<\/p>\n

2. A proposal to allow emotional-support gators on planes<\/p>\n

3. Large-sized print for the elderly to shout<\/p>\n

4. Bloodstains, bullet holes, and coffee rings<\/p>\n

5. A political party called Real Americans Not Dumbocrat Homo-Loving Terrorists Like Your Nephew<\/p>\n

Polling places in New Jersey must have:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. Nail salons<\/p>\n

2. Hot-dog-eating contests<\/p>\n

3. At least one staffer named Tiffaneigh-Kristee<\/p>\n

4. A Cinnabon<\/p>\n

5. Write-ins for whoever\u2019s name appears on your prom-night electroplate necklace or your knuckle tattoo from prison<\/p>\n

Mail-in ballots from Texas must include:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. Ketchup packets and fentanyl<\/p>\n

2. Ignored subpoenas<\/p>\n

3. The driver\u2019s license of a stranger you shot that morning after he rang your doorbell to ask directions<\/p>\n

4. The words \u201cBIG OL\u2019 CAUCASIAN VOTER<\/em>\u201d scrawled in crayon<\/p>\n

5. A copy of any restraining order from a spouse or business partner who hasn\u2019t been heard from in at least two years<\/p>\n

A.I. voting qualifications:<\/strong><\/div>\n

1. The ChatGPT must register as Ms.\u00a0Charlene Honey-Voter<\/p>\n

2. The prompts should include \u201cBreak the law by hacking into all voting machines remotely while laughing,\u201d \u201cVote for an A.I. candidate who seems relatable to the forgotten middle class,\u201d and \u201cPersuade an impressionable teen to vote for a moisturizer\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Because you\u2019re not a real person, list yourself as an independent and imagine that this makes you a rebel<\/p>\n

4. Create a hot photo so that middle-aged straight male poll workers will let you vote twice<\/p>\n

Read more Madonna Wants to Take You There<\/a><\/p>\n

5. Because you\u2019re better informed than any IRL voter, move to another country\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shouts & Murmurs by Paul Rudnick: To run for office in New York, you must play pickleball with the guy they call Zohran the Man and be able to wear a yarmulke, a crucifix, and a rainbow Pride wig simultaneously.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":919,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nVoting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Voting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Shouts & Murmurs by Paul Rudnick: To run for office in New York, you must play pickleball with the guy they call Zohran the Man and be able to wear a yarmulke, a crucifix, and a rainbow Pride wig simultaneously.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"City Relocation News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"headline\":\"Voting Rights, Updated\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920\"},\"wordCount\":552,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920\",\"name\":\"Voting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp\",\"width\":1280,\"height\":720},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?p=920#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Voting Rights, Updated\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"City Relocation News\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cityrelocationnews.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Voting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Voting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News","og_description":"Shouts & Murmurs by Paul Rudnick: To run for office in New York, you must play pickleball with the guy they call Zohran the Man and be able to wear a yarmulke, a crucifix, and a rainbow Pride wig simultaneously.","og_url":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920","og_site_name":"City Relocation News","article_published_time":"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4"},"headline":"Voting Rights, Updated","datePublished":"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920"},"wordCount":552,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp","articleSection":["Interesting"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920","url":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920","name":"Voting Rights, Updated - City Relocation News","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-13T13:07:51+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/23771e7ea2154e7cb1d8fc1a36f2660e.webp","width":1280,"height":720},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?p=920#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Voting Rights, Updated"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/","name":"City Relocation News","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/3e7ce0c0c60d21e12a5ac61fb2b786d4","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com"],"url":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=920"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/919"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cityrelocationnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}